Leah's happily ever after?
by HornLove
Summary: FIRST LEAH-NAHUEL STORY ON FF! Nominated for a "Bite Me" Award
1. Lonley

The anxiety saturated the air, the alpha was taking control. Everyone was following him in synchronization . His feelings. His love. His hatred. All became ours. The Alpha was making a circuit, he was thinking, worry mixed in with in with everything else.

Something was coming to visit Renesmee.

The girl who had matured to look physically 18, the girl that was so beautiful was on the Alpha's mind. I couldn't take it anymore!

Imprinting was the reason as to why my life sucks. Being what am is the reason why I hate myself, the reason to why nothing was worth to live for. Everything was stolen from me-and by the closet people in my life.

My parents never really liked me as much as Seth. They always wanted a boy first. They wanted the famous blood line to flow through his veins. To be chief. To be an elder. To be the leader. Because I was born first, I was always a burden. I was just seen as an extra child, despite this I still seemed happy enough to smile. Only because I had one person to keep me happy.

I had lost my father to something I loved: Death. Yes I always wanted to die after I lost Sam, I didn't see the reason to live.

My mother, grieved him on and on. She cried with Seth and told him that it wasn't Seth's fault, after all my dad died of a heart attack because we both had morphed. Though she had never told me that, all I got was the accusing stare.

"What?" I would always ask

"If you hadn't made Seth so angry he probably wouldn't of phased"

I never answered. She was right. Seth and I were arguing, I told him it was weird that he was shaking and I changed right after he did. His presence was much hated upon because he was special. My dad's heart was still strong, it was when I morphed that he went out cold.

So that's number one. I'm a murder. I killed my own father.

Next before all this angst and regret I had someone to keep me happy after my mother and father's constant scoldings. He was the one I loved. I was so addicted to him that when I lost him it was more devastating than anything. Of course when he left me, I figured it was because of my weird infatuation to him that scared him away, but I soon learned that he left me for my cousin, Emily.

My heart would shatter into a million pieces as I saw them talking. I didn't know why they were talking, Emily had shared with me her hate she had for him since he hurt me. Was it because she was more beautiful? Because all I saw was the love in his eyes and the resentment in hers. Emily was a noble person, she knew how much I loved that boy and she didn't want to hurt me.

That is the only thing that was keeping me from hating her.

Because I had shared this with her, she had never wanted him even though you could tell she wanted him. And then one horrible day, Emily ran into a insane wolf (as she told me) and long story short she was in the hospital with wounds that were "seemingly" caused by a bear.

I didn't visit her in the hospital, because they were together. They were in love.

Thats number two. I had caused the permanent scowl that now made the most beautiful girl that I ever knew, hideous. I had caused pain. Hard feelings.

And more recently when Jacob had left my stupid brother followed. Stupid always. He loved those damn blood suckers. And takes me back to phase one.

My logic: The vampires were the whole reason to why I changed. Thus my fathers death, the stupid Alpha blood would mean shit if they're were no wolves. Then my parents would love me. Sam would of never imprinted because again he wouldn't have been a wolf. I wouldn't have to listen to Jacob's constant love sickness over that Bella girl.

Life would be much better if the blood suckers didn't move to this damn city.

And now that Jake imprinted I had to continue listening to his love sickness except this time over some half breed freak baby with an even freakier name. I hated anything that fed on blood. Anything that didn't have a heart, anything as to why I'm here. I wish I was dead


	2. Forcing

The beautiful girl stood they're tapping her foot as Seth and Jacob were talking to the now fully grown Renesmee. Leah had grown her hair out only because the tufts that her short hair made were really annoying. She now had silky glowing black hair that complimented her perfect copper skin. It was true Leah was one of the prettiest girls that the pack has ever laid eyes on and yes her attitude was beginning to soften. The people who hadn't imprinted yet, were finding them selves drawn to her. Like she was a magnet and they needed to look at her.

Leah found this fact more annoying than anything. She would often wander into the woods to get away from the Y chromosome. They infuriated her. Leah wasn't looking for any flings, she wanted true love, a flame that won't diminish within a second. Love that is real, not like the fake make believe fairy tale love she shared with Sam.

As her bare feet stumbled upon the woods she heard the familiar howl.

Jake was calling her. The visitor was here. Apparently he needed his second in command to there.

Even if Jacob was over reacting when he wanted them to circle the perimeter, she couldn't fight the need to follow.

It was either that or leave forever.

She took off her shorts and tank tied it to a metal string and phased in a split second. She was so used to this, that she always did that process like her running: really fast.

Now on all fours she felt invincible and the little gray wolf ran towards the scent of Jacob. As if he was hers.

His sound, his thoughts were linked to hers, the were together. Not as Leah would've of liked, but It proved that if Jacob hadn't imprinted on Renesmee, the two of them could always be together.

She shuddered

Again to imprinting, another thing that had taken a possible love from her.

But this feeling of locked thoughts, were of simple Beta and Alpha...not anything special.

Leah hated imprinting.

Millions of times she tried to kill her self, but there was this force this thought that would always lash back and fight for life. Even if she had nothing to live for, something was keeping her alive, as if the hope of finding a new flame was enough to save the last breath, to allow her lungs to breath again and her heart to pump. Something strange was always there, something so strong, yet insignificant, it was enough to keep her standing where she was.

She was their within a matter of seconds, she saw the ringlets bounce up and down as she hugged a broad shouldered copper skinned male who's dark hair was in braids. He examined Leah with curiosity. He was extraordinarily beautiful. she could feel his heart pumping, the blood flowing through him.

At least he wasn't a pathetic vampire that made her life suck so much.

Leah POV.

I couldn't fit the pieces together.

I got that this was the visitor that Jacob had been fretting about, but why? Was it because Renesmee was excited at his arrival? Because he was more handsome than all the vampire's put together and more? How did he pose such a threat? Jacob imprinted on Renesmee! How could he be foolish to think that she could ever choose this handsome boy over him?  
I always knew Jacob was strange for loving Bella and everything, but this was the stupidest thing that he had ever done. Wasting my time through all the meetings about protecting the little half breed from something that was coming.

We all took this as a threat seriously, as if it would endanger the humans.

But this man was not a threat, a mere human who was as beautiful as a vampire. Who gazed at me.

Curiosity or disgust?

I didn't care, I had enough hatred in my life to not want to find out. I walked away and ran into the woods running into Jacob.

_What are you doing?_ He asked infuriated

_Walking away_

_But he's right there_

_He is human Jacob _I reassured _No danger_

_He isn't human!_

_What_ I asked _are you stupid or what? can't you hear his heart beat-_

_He's half breed!_

This new piece of information stunned me.

_Wow _

_Yea wow_

I felt my disappointed expression turn into a grin

_So this is why you've been acting like a little bitch_

Jacob growled _What?_  
_Your jealous...oh how cute!_

_Shut up!_

_Aw the wolf and the half breed_

_Go to hell Leah_

_that was mean, say sorry_

_Just phase back I can see you won't be any help _

_yes sir _

I happily took that command to heart.

As I ran back deeper within the heart of the woods I morphed back to human. Put on my shorts and tank brushed my hair through my fingers and continued my walk.

The smell of cinnamon rolls filled the air, my stomach grumbled.

_No _I told it _I am never ever eating with the Cullens _

I hadn't slept or ate since my last patrol which was Saturday, today was Tuesday. Because of my stubbornness, I began losing weight.

I had to eat something

I raised the pros and cons of eating with them, my hunger and head aches might ease up, or my pride will be diminished

I chose pride. Stupid as that may seem. Though pride was the only keepsake that I had, I clung to it, it came before anything.

Pride kept me alive.


	3. Visitor

I woke to another familiar sound, again the Alpha was calling me. This time he was human

"Leah!"  
His voice was so deep and seductive, that instead of walking I was thinking about skipping along the way

I jumped up and I was too bothered to phase

Half-breed my ass, I could care less.

My bare feet prickled open fresh wounds that were healed at instant. It felt like I was going numb.

That was good, seeing as I didn't want to feel anymore. Hurt. Pain. Agony. I was tired of it all.

As I reached the house, where the scent of Jacob called me (Beta instinct) I saw him on the front porch step eating food; a plate next to him, full of food, un touched.

There was a smile in his eyes as he gestured to the delicious looking meal. I raised an eyebrow.

"I figured you wouldn't eat inside...so I brought you food"

I let out an astonished breath.

"You can't possibly _not_ be hungry...you've lost a lot of weight" He noticed

I rolled my eyes but otherwise sat next to him and took the vampire-chow eagerly. Not that I would on a normal basis, only Jacob could make me eat food, only he could diminish my pride, because he was feeding me not to make me look inferior, but he actually _cared_ about me.

Hmp. Thats a nice change.

"You are a life saver, Jacob"  
"I know I am,"

They're was something in his voice that made me curious, why? Why was he all of a sudden some maternal motherly wolf that cared for it's kin?  
"But why?"  
"Why?" He asked startled "Why I'm feeding you?"

I nodded

"Because, It may sound corny, but I figure that I'm alpha and all...and you guys have no one to look after you...I feel responsible for some odd reason"  
I peered from my food to stare at his face with shock. My eyebrows were raised. My eyes probably matched my mouth: Wide

Again Jacob was the only person that could skip my lashing out, or cussing. You might think that it was because he was alpha, but when I was under Sam's control, I never gave me a break. I never wanted to feel his pity, but Jacob on the other hand was like a true comrade, a trusted friend. His pity seemed more like anxiety, or worry.

I could deal with that.

"You know" I finally spoke "That _was_ pretty corny"

Jacob chuckled

"But it's still thoughtful, thank you" I admitted

"No problem"

It was quiet

"Why were you freaking out?" I asked

"Because he was just like her, and I felt like he would be better and I just was a bit worried-"  
"Imprinters" I groaned

Jacob chuckled "Believe me Leah, I hated imprinting more than you did, who knew that Jacob and Imprint could go together"

I shrugged in agreement

Even though he thought he hated imprinting more than me, he was wrong, he hadn't had love taken away from him by one silly glance, one heartbeat. At least he lost Bella gradually, I had to go through all the pain in one second.. I didn't feel the need to correct.

"Yea well I hope I never imprint"

Jacob was suddenly stern "You may say that..."

I snorted "I mean it Jacob"

--

She put her plate down and walked around. She knew that Jacob was staring after her, his face probably mixed with regret and admiration...or maybe sympathy. In Jacob's case, empathy; the only person in the universe that understood Leah.

Leah never wanted another man to pity her. She was enough as it is. She walked maybe 5 yards away, still in his sight. Her muscles and joints felt so tight and compacted she had to stretch them out.

"I haven't been out of wolf form for so long"

"Yea" Jacob agreed intent on his food

"The blood suckers might grow on me" she sniffed "They stink less"  
Jacob chuckled "Me too"

I heard the squeaky sound of a wooden door being opened across the cement porch step. I felt Jacob's advancing heart beat and breath...

"Jake!" Renesmee called

"Nessie" He crooned

She ran to him and jumped in his arms

"I missed you" She murmured

I heard the smooching sound of two lips meeting. My anger came back.

Of course the whole "Half-breed" Is coming shit meant nothing, because Jacob had Renesmee already. He was such a pansy. I hate imprinting!

When ever I'm around him, the love and gratitude is like a shield, no hatred or agony can ever penetrate when ever Sam and Emily are together. It protected them, and any one around them. I never said or did anything rude or obnoxious while around Emily, or at least I tried and failed miserably. I just felt too bad, like I was a burden upon this sweet couple, and I was ruining the perfect harmony.

I liked Claire, (Now fifteen) She was a good person, but half the time she's with Quil and the whole "I love you Claire, I waited 13 years to tell you this" Was always a pain in the ass. And the giggle that escaped her lips was always like a jab in the heart.

Rachel was a good friend of mine _before _she left for college. We used to play pranks Jacob and Seth, our little annoying brothers. I expected to meet up with her and maybe hang out some places, but Paul _had_ to imprint on her.

She wasn't the same anymore.

I mean she did try to help me on her research to maintain his anger; I wasn't interested

And Jacob. The one who hated imprinting, almost as much as I do. The one person in the pack who could ever understand what I was feeling, now was with someone who loved him back fully.

I was left by myself. _Again._

"Oh..hey Leah" Renesmee greeted, after ten minutes of making-out with Jake.

Renesmee always wanted to befriend me. She was generally a gentle friendly person. I hated people like that. They were too happy, to preppy, to joyed than I'll ever be again.

Hatred wasn't the right word; more like Envy

I nodded to her.

I felt my mind order me to walk away but my feet stood plastered on the ground, with the sarcastic smile that was pasted on my face. My teeth were showing, grounding against each other. The heat spurge flew through my back as I saw her porcelain perfect face smile back.

She was happy. Always, _always_ happy.

"Oh Jake" Nessie turned "You haven't met him...Nahuel!"

Nahuel? What was up with these half-breeds and freaky names?

I felt the air swoosh through me as the door opened so softly I could barely hear the hinges. The light footsteps coming towards us.

I felt bored suddenly.

"Well, I better let you three catch up..."  
"No!" Nessie objected "You can stay and meet Nahuel too"

"That's not necessary, I have patrol" I grunted

"wait" Jacob pushed "No you don't, you can take it off for a couple minutes"

"But I really don't think you should do-"

"It's okay" Jacob cut through.

I hope He didn't think that I wanted to get out of patrol, that I was being modest. If he believed that, then some Alpha he was...  
I narrowed my eyes at him. The death glare was a warning. He was going to get it when his little girlfriend wasn't looking

His smiled mockingly

I could feel the trees ruffle behind me...they were so tempting, I wanted to run through them. Feel the branches tickle my fur. The clear air to fill my lungs, free of vampire stink. Peace...serenity

I groaned at the grass.

"Hello?" a charming voice greeted.

His sound complimented the breeze of the trees.

I wandered my eyes away from the stupid little scene. I longed to leave this place, walk through the path, come across new creatures that shared the jungle with me. To dance to the birds chirping that was always a perfect melody.

I wandered my eyes over to the tree tops, the three of them were on the porch step and I was still inches from the trees.

"This is Jacob" Renesmee introduced

"So this is the Alpha?...such a pleasure meeting you"  
I didn't have to see to know that Renesmee blushed. Jacob's breathing habits right now showed he was superior.

I was sickened

It was just like animals and the hunt. The alpha male fights his butt off for the female he wants to mate with against the new enemy.

I hated it. I hated being a wolf.

"Who is this?" The wind chimes asked

"Oh that's Leah, Jacob's friend"  
"Friend?" The man pushed

I shuddered a bit.

"More like second and command" She corrected

I really felt that my relationship with Jacob had formed into a true comradeship. A person who I could count on. A good friend.

Nahuel huffed, as if he was impressed.

I turned my body half way. My eyes darted down, I was more interested in an ant that was carrying a cookie crumb. I saw it's struggles of his legs wobbling and almost could imagine the determination of his ugly little face. It had to bring the food back to it's colony. Feed the other ants.

It reminded me of Jacob.

If this thing was alike to Jake, then maybe it had a Renesmee and maybe a Billy. Who knew? Maybe this ant has had its tiny heart broken from another ant, and maybe it had a snotty girl as a second in command that he felt the need to protect. Maybe it had a reason to bring that cookie crumb home, maybe that was his only reason to live; the freedom to go and risk your life to find food or breeze with the outdoors.

Maybe this Ant represented me; Maybe it was lonely. Maybe it didn't have a family.

But as soon as I assumed this i saw the tiny creature crawling towards this huge white and black shoes, that were dirty. (The odor cried out to me). And heartbreakingly, and nerve shattering I saw this tiny innocent lonely life taken away as the killer guilty shoe flew up and stomped the crap out of it.

I gasped

How could he do this? The ant was all that I had. The ant was so alike to me...the only one who could probably understand me.

I didn't even bother to scowl, again I felt nothing. The numbness remained quite in tact. Of course the life taken away just a few seconds ago, was an inconvenience, but it was still insignificant.

I turned around fully this time, Renesmee was chatting with someone on the porch now, to busy to care to why I was so unobservant.

Yet I did feel another heart beat just inches away, I heard the wet pulsing blood. The heat that radiated off his skin. The shadow was huge, and moving up and down slightly.

"Can I go now Jacob?"

I asked the silent shadow.

I had the courtesy to ask, but not to wait. I ran straight for the woods at blinding speed, my hair blowing after me struggling to keep up. My nose pointed upwards.

The heart beats were getting closer, the footsteps were following. Jacob was following.

"Go away" I hissed

"No"

the soft voice was enough to stop me, it wasn't Jacob but it was that damned Nahuel. Why was he following me?

I paused for a second and the gushing blur strode past me and stopped about ten meters in front of me.

I looked up to see who this new suitor was.


	4. Fight

_...not one string, but a million. Not strings, but steel cables. A million steel cables were tying me to one thing-to the very center of the universe _

-Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn, Chapter "There are no words for this" Pg 360

When I looked into his face, I suddenly saw that he was much more handsome than I described before.

His skin looked lighter, like it was glowing. His braids were dark, but the ends curled, you could tell his hair was softer than you could ever imagine. His chest was toned perfectly-like the werewolves, but better. I wanted to bore my eyes straight into his deep warm teak eyes. To see in them, to feel the fire that burned within his soul. To brand my name into his scull, so that he would never forget. And to feel anxious when I wasn't in his sight. His heart should shatter into a million pieces with the pain of my memory, when he found out that I couldn't love him back...

Suddenly these lines became more visible. The lines that held my dwelling to the people who I loved, My parents, Seth and...Sam, were all cut from me. They were gone, they were secondary. They were cut off from humanity. I wasn't Leah anymore for one long second. The big metal cord that he held onto was clearly more important than any thing put together...My gravitational pulls weren't tied to where I was standing, they were centered to the one thing in front of me.

This was it. He was the strange out of the world force that kept me alive. He was what I was looking for. Imprinting succeeded again.

And I didn't want anything to do with him at the same time.

He smiled hugely at my dazed face. The impact left my gasping for air, I hated this feeling.

Like your vulnerable to this one person. Like you had no choice but to love him.

I understood how Sam felt. To love something you shouldn't.

I was still bitter enough not to forgive him.

--

"Get the hell away from me"

"Why are you so bitter?" He asked

She narrowed her eyes at the beautiful fool.

"Answer...how could someone so beautiful be a burden to be with?"

"You don't know me!" she spat

"I already do...I've waited 150 years for someone like you"  
Leah snorted

That line was so familiar to Quil, that instead of giggling she wanted to puke.

"I knew that I would find you, but I didn't know where"

He was moving closer now, her heart shot up.

"Why so sad?" He stroked her cheek. "My love should never be sad"

She slapped his soft hand and grounded her teeth at him. He grinned. He began to circle her.

"so right..." He whispered "Perfect"

She turned to see his awed face gazed at her body, lust burned within his teak eyes. She saw the anxiety beginning to melt away.

She cringed at his urgency.

"You need not be scared"

"The hell I am!" Leah shouted.

With all her force, she fought the lines that held her close to him. The gravitational pull that was revolved around him. They were like steel cables, so strong that it hurt with every step to get away from him. She fought against nature and the crying voice in her head.

"_Sam was wrong...he was wrong!"_

She fought against destiny, she was sure to lose. But that didn't stop her, maybe Sam left her, but that was only because he was weak. She was strong. Stronger than him, strong enough to fight this stupid curse...strong enough to win.

But that small voice that kept reminding her that Sam was wrong, was just the highlight of her life.

She could get pregnant...otherwise this wouldn't be possible. She just imprinted and now she regretted it more than anything.

More importantly. He was wrong! The perfect alpha who Leah wasn't good enough for, was wrong. About her. _He_ wasn't good enough for Leah. He wasn't worth her, she found someone else, someone who she believed was worth less than dogs. He was wrong about the fact that she was menopausal, about how she couldn't imprint.

He was wrong!

The shock jolted through her moving body, she ran so fast and far that the border to La Push was reaching closer, she was home. She would tell everyone she knew, she would be happy again.

Billy was right about the strong part. Leah was running so fast that no one, not even Nahuel had the chance to follow.

"Wait" Nahuel cried "Leah!"

His voice cried out in agony, as if he was in trouble. Leah couldn't help but worry about what he had a problem about.

She stood there as she allowed her heart beat to raise with ever coming footstep that hinted that he was coming for her.

"Leah" He gasped

Leah turned around, her black hair swinging along with her.

_Stay strong. _

His face was the first thing she saw. Her knees gave out on her. She kept reminding herself to stay strong

"What?" She asked harshly

Something in her voice calmed him, the love and devotion to not love was clear within.

He gulped "Why are you leaving?"

"I'm not leaving" She stated clearly.

"Why are you avoiding to talk to me?"

"I am not!" She snapped

"You are" He said calm "Don't fight it...it will only cause you more pain"

His eyes were begging, it was hard to resist since the sun shined straight on them. His mouth turned upside down.

Leah smirked. His powers had no affect on her.

"That's not something new in my life"

"I know" He whispered "But I can't take anymore rejection"

Leah snorted

"Suck it up" She added coldly

She turned around, and ran at bursting speed

She promised herself that she would never ever love Nahuel. She will not diminish her pride by loving some filthy vampire child.

She had something that Quil didn't have; Dignity. If she had imprinted on a child...she wouldn't be caught dead near that child.

Paul didn't have her Integrity. After she imprinted there was no way that she would stop being her self an act all mellow...she was the same old bitter Leah.

She was down to earth, not like the fake Jared who imprinted on a girl he never looked at twice. She believed in true love; not magical weird crazy mystical lying stories.

She had the pride that Jacob didn't have, she would never go back on her hatred and love the very thing that she sought out to destroy.

And Sam, she had strength. The one who she promised to marry, to love, to be with forever, would never be second in her list to someone who she just met.

True love should never be replaced with something that was to the unknown.

If Sam had loved Emily, if he had known her before. If he had spent the time to _love_ her...maybe Leah would understand better. But no, it wasn't like that.

Leah pained every second at the thought of how her love meant nothing to a stranger.

It hurt.

And the promise she made now, hurt even more.

All those guys who imprinted had something in common. They were all lying stupid hypocrites who go back on their word to fulfill the stupid rare myth, of imprinting. On top of that they were all male.

Leah could fight this, she knew that she wasn't anything like the mindless zombies who claimed that they were in love.

She's fight for love. She's do anything for love.

Except there was Leah's definition of love, was different than the wolves' myth.

And in her opinion that was the_ real _love. The one that was actually worth her struggle to keep alive. To keep the flame flowing...to remain...to be.

Imprinting just didn't make the cut.


	5. Confrontation

Leah wanted something more, something real. Imprinting wasn't enough it was fake.

What was wrong with falling in love with somebody...the normal way?

She ran towards her homeland, the familiar comforting yet haunting aroma of La Push soon overcame her senses.

She didn't need to see where she was going, she ran these woods enough to know by the heart which path to choose. The scent of the neighbors dogs...the highway...someone was barbecuing.

That was the sign to change back.

----------------------------------------------

Once when I was on two legs, clothes on my back and when my senses dulled down by the tiniest degree, I decreed that it was good enough to continue.

As I neared the houses that I once called my home, I searched and searched for the familiar ones.

Of course the pack has relocated closer to the Cullen's house...because of Renesmee. But there was one wolf who wouldn't have it. He was Alpha, until Jake stole all of his members-well he wasn't wolf anymore.

Sam Uley left as soon as the last wolf, Jared, abandoned his pack. He stayed with his love, Emily and pretty soon the story of a little Sam would soon spread among us.

Their were no hard feelings and Jacob was thankful for that.

I stopped at the house that could've been mine, the perfect garden that I could of tended too, and the home that Sam and I could of shared. The love that would fill the air, instead of puking out and endless vibe of envy, I could be the one that people were envious of.

I could be the one cooking the pack food, I would be loved.

And I would have those hideous red scares that would cover my beautiful face...

I wondered if I would exchange my beauty for love? Would I take the scars joyfully along with Sam? Or would I stay lonely, avoiding true love...but still as gorgeous as ever?

It may sound selfish...but I would want to keep my looks.

No doubt I loved Sam, but I would love to forget him any time now, it's just hard to turn love off. It isn't like a switch or anything like that...it's almost permanent.

I'd have to find true love for the pain to erase, and that would take some time.

I love Sam enough to want him happy, before me, and he was clearly happy with her.

But the pain that I wasn't the one for him kept stabbing me in the back. It felt like we were meant to be, my world was floating, I felt so special to have found love right in town, but when Emily came, she was all of a sudden what universe decided as to Sam's _true _soul mate. The world was getting back at me. That was a low blow to the head.

I wonder how much Emily had taken it?

Of course she resisted it, that's how the scars happened.

But I wanted to go deeper, Emily and I weren't all that different. My parents used to call us twins because were so alike-almost like the same person.

If Sam had fell in love with me, then no doubt he would compatible with Emily.

And if Sam was right, then there was something wrong with me. I couldn't have children.

But I imprinted...?

Then maybe Sam was wrong?

Does the universe enjoy feeding my pain of curiosity?

Maybe even if Emily was just like me...maybe she was a person of better quality? Nicer, gentler, sweeter...maybe Sam fit better with the selfless type.

That was like a hard kick in the gut.

So Emily was a better person than I? She won, she had gotten the prize of my boyfriend, she had gotten the ultimate gift of what my life was supposed to be.

She took my spot. She stole my future. She _is_ me.

I don't know about her, but if I was in her spot, I would feel horribly disgusted with myself. Just saying, and I if had a heart, I might of backed down. But no I was selfish, I would keep him.

Emily, the most nicest girl I knew, hadn't even gave him up.

Just shows how _durable_ imprinting is.

It sickened me, because I realized that no one is at fault here.

Emily was just an innocent, who came to visit her best friend, it wasn't her problem that super natural human beings would secretly roam La Push.

As far as she knew, she had found true love, but hurt me in the process.

Sam didn't imprint on purpose, I mean at the time I'm sure that if he had a choice he would of chose me. Without hesitation. But that wasn't the case, he didn't have a decision. It was like life had just stepped in and changed the course of his plans. There was nothing that he could do but blindly fall in love with the one who was meant for him and just happen to break the promises he made me.

As for me, I was the victim, I mean we were all victims in our own way. But hands down, my pain was worse than both of them put together. Any idiot could tell you that.

I shared the same pain as them, but they had each other to ease it up. I had no one, and it made it worse to see that their troubles would speckle into dust as mine stood alive and well.

Even the temporary relief would help...but life didn't show any mercy.

I stood on the perfect marble porch and up to the perfectly painted shade of red that plastered the perfect door. Their home made all the other houses look like crap.

I took a deep breath and imagined knocking on the door.

I wanted to, by my hands were pulling for me to run towards Nahuel again.

I took another breath as his name crossed my thoughts, I've been trying so hard to forget him, but if one little thing about him came in tact, I would feel so weak.

I moaned as I thought about his perfect muscle toned body looked, it was more perfect that Sam.

I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't help but compare them.

No doubt Nahuel was handsomer and better looking in anyway than Sam. And Sam didn't look to shabby.

I kept on voting on which was better, Nahuel would always win.

I thought of him so much, that I could almost smell his scent...it felt so real.

It smelled like the tropical forest, so rare here in La Push. But that wasn't the best part, the most excruciating part was when after you smelled his scent, another aroma filled your nostrils. Like it was the best cologne, it smelled like damp lilacs...and wet grass. Both tracing to the special tropical forest.

It was so much better than the musky smell that the werewolves gave off.

I mean it didn't smell bad, but you can get tired of it. My own scent didn't even compare to theirs.

I mean I didn't smell musky at all, I smelled more like cherry blossoms and a little woodsy at the least.

I guess it was a girl thing.

The pack used to complain that I smelled to differently, to soft, to good...that it didn't work with the musky scent they had going on.

But Nahuel's scent worked perfectly with mine, making the most sensual aroma around. Better than the Emily-Sam formula.

"No" I whispered "Stop thinking about him"

"Leah?"  
The door moved crisply. The air was about to suffocate me.

Sam stood at the door, of course, super hearing was still in tact, I should of known.

"Sam?" I asked

He raised his eyebrows in surprise, he was shirtless, naturally, and the woodsy sent had vanished slightly, human blood took over now that he wasn't wolf anymore.

"What are you doing here?"

He didn't sound rude at all, almost relieved. That killed me. Annoyed me to no end.

"I-I...sorry wrong house"

I turned around and stepped down the porch steps.

"Wait!" He cried

I turned my head slowly, a look of annoyance threatened to show up.

"Aren't you here t-to talk with Emily?"

The annoyance won.

I narrowed my eyes at him. The walked slowly, he backed a little.

"No" I said harshly "Why would I come to visit her?"

He gulped loudly

"Because-"  
"What? Do you think I _need_ to talk to her? What do I possibly have anything to say to her?"

He widened his eyes, a surge of pity came over me.

"You know what? I'll just leave and make your lives easier, bye"

"No, Leah, you don't have to g-go,"

I shut my eyes tight and grounded my teeth.

"No" I declined "It's okay, like I said wrong house"

I fake smiled and left that god forsaken place, so close to touching the cement...

"Leah?"  
A more gentler voice took over the tension. Emily had a way to do that.

I swirled around on my heel. "Yes?"  
Emily bit her lip as her eyes looked almost wet. She frowned, and then smiled. She covered her mouth and coughed, I think it was meant to be laugh of relief.

Without warning she ran to me and attacked me with the hugest hug anyone could give me.

"Oh Leah!" She cried "I've missed you, come in"

I groaned.

Did she think that I came here make peace. Ease the pain? Close up opened wounds?

She pulled me into her house, Sam was smiling halfway.

I narrowed my eyes, I could hurt Sam easily, but Emily was different.

"Oh Leah I have so much to tell!" She cried

My face must have been the most uninterested, but Emily didn't seem to notice.

"I talked with your brother, he's so sweet. How are things over at No man's land? Are the boys giving you hard a time? Heard your second and command? I'm so proud of you! Sam and I went on a vacation last summer...first summer he's had off in years" She chuckled "And we went deep diving, para sailing and snorkeling! It was so fun! The hotel was amazing and he even paid for first class...I'm so lucky, and guess what?" She smiled "I'M PREGNANT !"

"What?!" I stood from my chair and started to breath rapidly

"Yea, isn't it great, I haven't found the time to tell any one, but you can spread the news-"

I paced the kitchen and covered my forehead.

I shook my head repeatedly.

"What's wrong?" She had the nerve to ask

"Whats wrong, Emily? You know whats wrong!"

Sh gave me a quizzical look

"Emily you know me! We were like sisters, you know that I can't just put up a fake face and act like nothings wrong!"

"There is nothing wrong!" She stood

"You know I have no problem to tell someone straight to there face if I didn't like them, I'm not fake! Your not fake! Why are you acting so different? It's like the world hates me!"  
"You know that's not true"

"If you were in my spot, you wouldn't believe any of that shit"  
"Leah!"

"No! Emily, I'm done. Be happy, I'll leave your lives forever, you can relax, I won't be a pest in your precious perfect life anymore"  
"Leah, we want you here" Sam intervened

I turned to him "You think I care? Because apparently you didn't"

"Leah" He whispered "I'm sorry"  
"No you aren't! Your to happy to be sorry"

He huffed

"And I don't care if things didn't turn out the way I wanted, I mean its just surprise after surprise! I can't take it! You leaving, My dad dying, imprinting on a damn half breed and now this!"

"Imprinting on a half breed?" Sam raised an eyebrow "What?"

"Oh shut the hell up" I snapped

To my utter astonishment, he chuckled.

"That's great Leah!" Emily encouraged

Even though she meant well, I took it on the wrong side.

"Why is that great? Are you glad that I won't be to pathetic ex girlfriend you can't get over your husband? A little relief? Do you feel better that I won't be nagging him anymore-"

"Leah" Sam pushed "Why do you have to be so bitter? You know Emily meant well"

"Can you believe it?" I asked myself "He has the nerve"

His smile formed to a thin line.

"You Know what Sammy boy? I don't even know why I liked you so much, you weren't worth it"  
"I know" He whispered "I am once again so sorry-"  
"And you know what? Don't think that you were so special, I only fell in love with you because half the people in this town are idiots, I only hung out with you to deal with my own depression...I never loved you , you were like a drug for me y'know, not anything more than that. So don't take any pride in how you got her but never lost me."

"Leah, how could you say that?" Emily pushed "You two were in more love-"  
"Emily, not helping!" Sam pushed

"Of course you probably don't remember anything, because you have your own life to deal with"

They both gulped  
"So I'm going to head off, away from this place, and go live a life as best as I can, try not to think about him..."

"Leah, you can't fight it" Emily claimed

"You know, Emily I have something that you or Sam doesn't have, Pride" I stated "You could give a damn about me!. You put Sam before your best friend, you put yourself before me, you made me go through all that pain just because you weren't strong enough to fight, strong enough to get the hell away from a huge strange maniac...and you Sam is the worst, you lied. Your basically a cheater! You hurt me the worst...you know how bad I had it? You were the only person that I would count on and here you are the first person to hurt me so bad! I don't know how the both of you can find the time to be happy and lovely and so kind. If I was you Emily, I'd actually feel _bad_! And you to Sam. Your love isn't normal, it's deformed! Love is _supposed_ to be pain free, it shouldn't hurt anyone but the people inside it. But since you did, your love isn't right, it's tainted, it's cursed! It isn't what it's supposed to be!" I claimed "And I don't care what you do now, but I couldn't possibly care less! Go on and do couple things, but I won't be forgotten. You won't be happy enough' you'll be miserable, and that's enough payback for me, Good bye"

"Leah!" Emily and Sam cried

I ignored them and ran out the door stepping on her perfect flowers. I ran into the woods weeping. I stepped into the heart of the woods to a log where Sam first proposed marriage, the day before my life was ruined. I looked around towards the trees and cried out in an echo that anyone could hear.

Nahuel was coming, and he was running fast.

The strange part was, that I didn't move. My muscles froze in place, waiting for him to ease pain. To breath his scent, and look at his beauty. To feel him and to touch...to hear his voice. The air around me was getting thicker and thicker with the same scent I could almost taste it...

My heart bubbled up inside me, and I'm sure he heard that...

"I'm coming Leah"

His wind chyme voice blew with the wind. I shut my eyes before observing the scenery behind me and sat on the log

He was so close. Not close enough. Never close enough.

"Nahuel!" I cried for him.

"Leah"

The voice that was so filled with so much love, so much. It didn't take me long to realize that he was right in front of me.

I opened my eyes.


	6. Your heart?

Warm teak gazed into me. He was smiling in his eyes and his lips traced a feint grin. I could breathe in his expression, inhale his beauty.

His anxiety cried to me as he waits to what I would say.

I remained speechless. Silenced by his perfection

He gulped loudly, his eyes darted around the place and his mouth formed a thin line of worry. He finally rested his eyes on me, but I was daydreaming to notice that he ducked in for a kiss

Centimeters before his lips crushed mine, I dodged my head, reluctantly.

His scent was so rare and out of this world, but the venom within him slashed in his veins. I could almost feel the burn of his racing heart. If I approached him, if I kissed him, it would only make sense, I would die. The venom that washed his teeth was like poison darts, each one ready to take my life.

I stepped back, as I realized that this love would be impossible. He stepped forward.

"What's wrong?" He frowned  
"Your what's wrong…get away" I said harshly

"Leah, I though we went over this-"  
"No Nahuel!" His name burned on my tongue "Venom doesn't work with my system, it's like poison,"

"My venom isn't poisoned" He claimed

I wanted to believe him, but the sweet and sour smell that mixed in with his rain forest aroma, cried out to me. The wild side of his blood smelled so different than humans.

"Leah" He reassured "I am human too,"

"Yea half" I corrected

"You are too"  
"So?"

So what if we were half breeds? Mine wasn't permanent unless I wanted it to be…he was stuck as a vampire freak child for life.

"We are perfect for each other" He stroked my cheek

I slapped it off

"Look at Renesmee and Jacob? They seem not to mind" He argued  
"Renesmee isn't infested with venom"

"Yes, but mine isn't the same as vampire's, my Leah" He crooned "Werewolves die to vampire venom, not ours"  
"What makes them different?" I pushed

"Leah, I would never trust your life with a guess, I know this"

"How?"

"Because I know myself"

I narrowed my eyes

"Leah, my version is tainted with water and blood, the necessities I need in my life"

"You were able to create an immortal?"

"Because she was human!" He argued "Leah, you aren't human"

I took that offensively. "Then what am I? A freak?"

"You know what I mean"

"No, I don't know"  
"Leah, the human side of you may cringe at my blood thirst, but the werewolf will fight _my _human side, it's a perfect match"

"Where did you get this theory from?"

"All I know is that your blood will not appeal to me, first of all vampires hate werewolf blood, so that's canceled out and my human side will be inferior"  
"What if I swallow some venom?"

"I told you, it is not the same as vampires!"

"Yes it is"

He groaned

This wasn't supposed to be the first romantic kiss that we were supposed to share. And his prize that he finally won me over wasn't meant to be a shower of a sea of doubts.

I sat grumpily on the log; knowing that he finally won me over.

No words, no actions, no nothing. He was just there and that was enough to soften me up. For_ now_.

Of course I still believed that imprinting is like a curse…I still don't want to be with him. But those lines, when vulnerable, are like comforting cables that lead to him. It showed that when I'm feeling sad or mad, Nahuel was the answer to my problems. So I let my guard down, for me, for today.

"Leah?" He asked as he sat with me "please...I need you to be okay"  
I sighed, nothing rude came to my mind.

I felt so lost, I had just poured my heart out and Nahuel was ready to comfort, why didn't I take it? Was it because I knew it would lead to my painful death? Or that it would cause me to love him, like I should.

This is my life. Surprise after surprise. Heart break after agony. The pain keeps coming and coming, I could a book about my crappy life and I guarantee you it would be a bestseller. Only because people like to read about other troubles then their own.

The unexpected tears came without warning. The pain in my heart jabbed harder, as the electric current that i fought, fried my brain.

I lost my first love…and then my true love will not even work? And even if it did, i would be like a hypocrite.

After accusing the other imprinters, i had become one of them? Did i lie to myself?

I grunted and cried and sobbed and laughed all at once. I was confused on what to feel.

Love the thing i hated, Like Jacob? Pay attetniton to him like Jared? Soften my already softer attitude like Paul?

Turn on my promises like Sam?

"Leah?" Nahuel's voice was so tender and soft, just what i needed.

How could something so wrong, sound and feel so right? Should i turn on Leah and love him like i should.

I was face with the same question i had before Pride or food? Except this time it was more like foolish dignity or perfect love.

The normal me would of picked dignity, but i wasn't the normal me anymore

And without knowing what I was doing I laid my head on his chest and sobbed

"Oh, I'm so sorry" I cried "It's just so horrible, I c-c-can't even b-be with you, I'm so sorry that I can't, but I just…I just-"  
"Leah" He soothed "Shh, It's okay, don't worry, we'll be together, I won't ever leave you"  
"I k-know, but It won't work…you'll kill me"

He rocked me back and forth and laughed warily "If I ever kill you…I'd die"  
"You don't have to d-do that"

He chuckled "Leah, everything is going to be okay. You know why? We will be together"

"Nahuel" I argued "Didn't you hear what I just said? You'll kill me before we can be happy together"  
"Leah, didn't you hear me? Stop being so pessimistic"

"I'm being real!" I cried "Unlike you who thinks everything is going to work! It won't! Nothing ever does for me! Just go away! Save your self from me! I'll bring nothing but bad"

I jerked from him and crossed my arms. He separated them pulled me so I could lay my head in his lap; I didn't protest.

"Leah" He whispered for one last time "Stop fighting on what was meant to be! The universe has decided!"  
"I don't care about the universe"  
"Leah…don't fight it" He whispered quietly in my ear.

I twitched from him and he kept his grip on me.

"I will not let you leave" He promised "I will not set you free just so you can run away and get your heart broken"

"What if I don't want to be with you?" I questioned

"That is your choice" He added "However that's will never be the case in this situation"  
"How do you know"  
"Enough with the games!"

"Let. Me. Go" I ordered

"Leah, I will not let you go until you tell me everything"

"Tell you what?"  
"i don't know, how do you feel about me?" He hinted

"I hate your guts and I wished you would die a slow painful death"  
"Leah, don't lie He chuckled

"Okay" I admitted "I don't wish for you to diea painful death...just die"

"Leah" He encouraged

"Fine, you can live" I groaned "But i still hate you"  
I didn't need to look at his face to see that he was dispointed

"Fine i don't hate you, maybe dislike. You know like an inconvenient annoying buzzing bee that i can't get rid of-you remind me of that"

"Feelings are mutual?"He ignored my jibe  
"No, I'm sure I don't feel the same way that you feel about me, about you"

"Yes you do"  
"Unless you hate er sorry _dislike_ me…do you?"  
"NO!" He cried

"Then we aren't mutual"  
"Leah, I love you"  
"Okay we definitely aren't on the same track"

"I love you more than the moon and the stars…You replace the luminous sun and bright up my whole life…you are the beautiful sea at bay…you are the fresh green grass…and the growing cherries…you bring peace to my soul…but at the same time you sent my heart flying...you open my mind to numerous discoveries…I am never limited to the capacity of love that I can give you and-"  
"Okay" I concluded "Let me go now, so I can report you to the authorities…they have places for stalkers like you"

"Never" He seductively whispered, ignoring my jab again" Say it"  
"Never"

He held me tighter-almost painfully

"Say it!" He ordered

I stayed quiet.

He pulled me up and bored his eyes into my face , I shut my eyes so I wouldn't fall to his agony.

"Say it…or I'll die"

"No!" I protested

"Open your eyes and see! Open your soul and admit it! Open your heart so I can enter"

My eyes were shut painfully, they fought to open. My mind and body were at a ravaging war one was sure to win and the mind should always win. But Nahuel was on one side…and there was no objection.

He won. I opened my eyes, but kept my heart carefully guarded alongside my soul.

His eyes were tearful, they shined from the watery vapor, and they were turned down as if frowning. His mouth however formed a thin line.

I hated seeing him like this.

"Please…" He whispered, his voice sounded cut and throaty as if fighting the urge to cry.

I took a deep breath.

"You're Soul?" He reminded me

"I-I-…L-lo"I couldn't escape my feelings into words

"Come on..." He encouraged

"I-I-I"  
"Leah!" He cried "Say it!"

"Please" I whispered

"Just say it"

"L-Love...you"  
He let out a breath and I finished my statement.

"I love...you?" It sounded more like a question

"Yes!" He answered "You love me"  
"I love you? I love you!"

He nodded the largest and satisfying grin sent my head into a whirlpool. His eyes were bright again and his perfect face lit along with it. I sighed as the tension released from my worries earlier.

Those words were a shock to my system. I have never said them before…except Sam and maybe my brother or mom…but now I that I released those feelings to someone who shared them with me completely, it felt good. I wanted to say it again, and again.

He was glad; but not entirely satisfied

"Are you forgetting?"  
"What?" I asked annoyed.

Those words might come easily to anyone else, but they would take some time to get used to. I would have to practice saying it. It took a lot out of me.

"Your heart…that is all I ask, that is all I need, let me have you"  
I widened my eyes in disbelief

"Not now" I stated tiredly

"Yes now!" He argued "Leah it isn't that hard,"

"I can't! You took everything out of me!"

"But you have so much more"  
"I can't" I sobbed "Just let me…"

I closed my eyes, without giving him what he needed. I had failed, I hadn't made him happy, I hadn't given in, I was at loss.

I didn't anticipate what would happen when morning came.

"Please…?" The begging whisper was all I had to cling onto, as I entered the pure, coveted, worry-free nature of unconsciousness.

When I awoke, I wasn't in the woods. My eyes weren't gazing to the night sky. I wasn't sleeping on Nahuel; instead I was laying on something comfortable. The rain forest sent that calmed me, wasn't near me at all. Instead it was replaced by musky natural and vampire stench.

I woke immediately when that became clear.

A blanket over threw the ground and I was less than five feet away from Esme, the vampire mother that cared for the adopted monsters.

"I see that you're awake" She chanted happily

"Why am I here?" I ignored her joyful mood "Where is Nahuel?"  
"Ahh" She crooned "He isn't here at the moment, but I suggest you go back to sleep, you were awful weak when they found you"

"They?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Your pack" She clarified "They were looking for you and they saw you with Nahuel, immediate action was taken"

"What? Did they hurt him?!"  
"Oh No" She dismissed "Now, go back to sleep"  
"I have to get out of here" I muttered

I jumped off the stink couch and ran out the door. The pack was sitting on the porch step, some where standing around the area and others were quietly discussing today's events I bet.

Their eyes peered to me; they bored their expressions deep within my soul. They seemed as though there worry blew up in the air.

That same look that I wanted to avoid was plastered al over the non-imprinters again. Disgust rode through me.

The guys never saw me like that, only because I was bitter. But now that I have calmed a bit they decide that I was worth the look. Even though I hated it, I was glad that half the pack had imprinted therefore making me undesirable and one was my brother anyway.

I didn't know if it was relevant, but I observed what I was wearing, the usual tank and shorts. I felt as though I betrayed Nahuel by showing up like this in front of the pack. I glared my eyes to them.

"What did you do with him?" I asked sharp

"What? That dude? We just scared him into letting go of you" Embry snorted "He ran off in the trees"

"You were sleeping on his lap" Seth clarified "We knew that you probably weren't conscious when_ that _happened," He joked "He had his hands all over you, so we yanked you from him, it was kinda creepy because he acted so reluctant, as though you were the best thing in the world...such a freak"

"He isn't a freak" I muttered

"We warned him too" Jared reminded, slightly suppressing a grin "Seth would call the authorities"

Quil bursted laughing along with Jared and Embry

"What!?" I asked

"_What_?" Paul pushed "More like what were you thinking!"  
I narrowed my eyes at him; he was never one for caring. Maybe he was just anxious to get back to Rachel.

"Leah" Quil said softly "Claire was worried sick about you! Never leave to the border with a half breed –I mean a dangerous enemy… right on your heels alone"

Quil changed his word choice because Jacob was glaring at him, he insulted Renesmee.

I sighed, they didn't know that I imprinted.

"You guys" I calmed "its okay, Nahuel isn't meant as a danger, I went to La Push anyways"

"Why?" Jared asked "Where in no mans land now"  
There was a hint of regret in his voice, after all he was the last to join Jacob's pack.

Jacob huffed as if it was his fault that we were stuck in stink land.

"You guys Nahuel-"

"Oh so your calling them by his name now?" Embry asked

"Yes, he's a person just like us!" I argued

"Complete one eighty, sis" Seth commented, a small smile on his face

"Guys, just go" Jacob ordered "Let me talk to her"  
The pack reluctantly left.

Jacob turned to me immediately; his eyes were wide as if asking to explain myself.

No one knew about the imprinting except the traitor and the cheater.

"Leah, what's wrong?"  
As I turned my head I noticed a movement in the bushes, no doubt the pack would be listening, I didn't care because it was better all of them heard at once then from one's thoughts to another.

"You and me used to be the biggest imprinting haters there is, but when you got Renesmee, everything changed…"  
"Yea" He encouraged

"I never wanted to imprint, but I wanted to forget Sam"  
He nodded

"I said I never wanted to imprint, and I meant it, but you didn't believe, and even after I still kinda regret it"

"What are you saying?"

He was shaken, probably from the suspense

"I'm saying that nothing changed! I imprinted and I'm not the lovey dovey all mellow chick that you would dare to expect"  
"Leah" He whispered "You imprinted?"  
"YES! Genius! Did you hear that?" I yelled to the bushes "I imprinted! Happy?

"This is wonderful! On who?"  
"Who do you think? Nahuel!"

His eyes popped wide and then the bushes moved again. The pack started running out of the thorns and screamed

"What has the world come too?" Seth cried, in mock horror

"I can't believe it" Embry said

"I can!" Paul shouted "Thank the lord Jesus! No more bitter Leah"  
"Go to hell, Paul"

"Meet ya there" he joked

I was in no laughing mood, is at grumpily on the wooden bench and groaned.

"This is good news" Quil remind me "Why so sad?"  
"On Nahuel? That's more pathetic than a child"

Quil narrowed his eyes "Claire was not pathetic thank you"  
"I wasn't calling Claire pathetic" I mumbled

Quil rolled his eyes but let it go.

I looked down, and eventually the pack got more bored and started to leave. As soon as Paul stepped on the grass, the familiar scent came to me again.

"Ugh!" I groaned

I jumped from the bench and ran inhumanly passed Paul into the trees. They were pretty impressed with my speed, but I could care less.

Nahuel's scent cried to me and I just let the magnet win instead of fighting it.

"I've been waiting" He reminded "your heart?"

I groaned "How am I able to give you my heart, so you can shut up"

He was somewhere in the shadows of the trees, I could barley see him, but I could smell him and that was enough.

"Simple" He replied

I saw the beautiful face rise out of the shadows, he leaned forward and his lips crushed mine with not much force. He had one hand on the small of my back and he pushed me swiftly in the dark closer to his body. The other hand moved to my waist. For some reason my hands were very stiff at first, at my sides balled in fists. But after a couple of seconds the glowing heat opened them up. I moved my arms to over his shoulders. Making the kiss look more enjoyable then abuse to other eyes.

He lips curled up in a small smile, the current ran through me for the last time.

That was the sign that he had won, his ultimate prize, Leah Clearwater was forever his. The hard fought battle was useless.

God. I belonged to someone. That felt nice.

"Thank you" He whispered in my ear "I will take care of your heart as if it were my own"

I rolled my eyes, we, may be together, but I was not one for corny lines.

"I love you" He mumbled

"Me too" I grumbled

"Nahuel?" A voice asked "Leah?"

We both raised our heads and looked to see the russet curled happy, joyful, _friendly_ Renesmee staring at us with horror and excitement at the same time.

That same infuriating smile filled her face

I gritted my teeth. The werewolf family knew, I knew that I would have to confront the rest of the leeches now.

"Renesmee, what a wonderful surprise" I said fake, and sarcastic

She didn't seem to notice "Oh this is just perfect! I didn't know you guys had something going on"

"Imprinted" Nahuel said proudly

It was weird because as soon as I heard her voice my hands dropped, but Nahuel seemed to _forget _to remove them from my waist. It was an awkward position, but he wasn't letting go

It may be weird, but i actually enjoyed his touch. I enjoyed his soft skin and maybe even his perfect lips against my skin. I_ wanted_ his hands all over me.._.ugh!_ I hate this stupid imprinting feeling!

"I was just out for a hunt" Renesmee said causally "Do you guys know what this means!"

I didn't answer, the chill in my bones was enough to answer for me. I knew i would collapse when i heard it. Nahuel held me tighter, as though he sensed that. Somehow, i doubt if he did that by a prediction.

"DOUBLE DATES!"

**LOL I was trying to make Ness all bubbly and high-spirited . I'll tone it down next chapter…**

**Oh yea today is election day! vote for OBAMA! WHEW!! Lolz I can't vote till four years anyways, so yeah.**

**Please review! I look forward to your responses on my chapters to help construct my writing skills, thanks!**

**XD**


	7. Overload

When the lilac scent was gone, my nerves calmed down. The pressure and strain from Renesmee had tensed and compacted my muscles. I attempted to stretch them out, my bones cracked as I reached out to my toes. It was like the annoying yet necessary process one takes before transforming to all fours. I always do it and sometimes it's automatic, I don't even remember doing it. Like in gym class when I was human, I used to whine and cry that the push-ups where so hard, now I can do them one handed with twenty pound weights on my back-and that even comes easily. I never really challenge my strength, like the guys. At first, when the whole supernatural thing was so cool to us, they used to have small little contests, you know like who can run the fastest, bench the best weight or simple human things like push-ups-well to the extreme.

I had participated in one of those contests, the running of course, to defend my title as the fastest. When I run it's like flying. I love the feeling. Of course, benching weights or cars for that matter was never my expertise but that didn't mean I couldn't do it. That area was more of Quil's master ability (Only because he was pretty tough human)

I'm sure, if he didn't have Claire he would be at the mall right now, flaunting his bulging muscles to the next girl that appears to give interest.

In my opinion, I think he'll just scare them away. But boys tend to mix terror with satisfactory.

School was more in the area of Jared and It may sound weird, but I actually did good in school._ Then_ I cared about my future, and morphing into wolf was the most devastating thing to me. Kids like Jared and I had to eventually drop out only because the strain of school was too much, kids like Quil and Paul were happy to drop out.

Now the best for me is to head back to another high school and pick off where I was somehow, or go straight to community college.

Their goes my life. Right in the garbage.

Athletics tended to head in Sam's direction. Football scholarship had to be turned down because of this stupid cures. Jacob was pretty good to, another scholarship was headed his way by the time he was a senior.

And then their was the little kids, Collen, Brady and Seth. My brother was a little braniac also, but halfway through his freshman year, life didn't even giver him a chance.

Collen and Brady didn't even enter high school, just passing the eighth grade.

I stared out into nothing, the bushes, the trees, the grass. Emerald green nearly fused into my pupils until all I could see was that color.

I sighed. Sad that everyone had to give up something just so we can protect the ignorant.

It made me angry about the fact that we all gave up on future. Life. Happiness. Just because some silly little humans didn't know about what happens in the night, just because some stupid leeches had to live so close to us instead of going away somewhere when they couldn't effect us.

And even though I loved being a wolf, the important human feelings are still coveted among us.

Falling in love normally for one.

Someone beside me coughed loudly.

My brain was on overload, so I was stalling. I didn't want to think about him. I didn't want to see him because it was enough to distract me from my epiphany.

"Leah?"  
Hearing his voice made my lip twitch. I changed my focus onto something else. Something more beautiful.

Nahuel's face of course.

My eyes were affected by the stupid magnetic force. I immediately had to look at him.

"You were so quiet" He whined "I got to worried"

Of course he was worried  
He stroked my face and I gave him a questionable look, still not slapping his hand away like I would do normally.

"If it's about Renesmee..don't fret" He jammed "We don't have to, if your not ready"

I hadn't answer

"I just want to be with you, dates can come later" He pushed

I remained quiet

"Honey, please talk...?"

"Yea" I blindly agreed

His eyes stayed tense with hurt.

I flashed him my signature Mona Lisa smile and turned my lips back down.

"Are you okay?"  
"Yea, lets get out of here"

He pulled me soon after towards the scent of my brothers "Can I meet your little wolf friends?"

"I thought you already met them?" I challenged

"Yea...but that wasn't the proper welcome I should of given"  
I opened my eyes wide "Are you kidding me? They were the ones who popped out of no where, and started to attack you!"  
"They didn't technically attack" He defended "Just protect"

I snorted "Yea, right and you weren't?"

"But they have a feeling that they are compelled to follow. They take the role as your older brothers, after all you are the only girl" He winked

"I can protect myself" I argued "And I'm older than all the boys on that stupid squad"

"I know you can, but they can't see that. You are vulnerable to them, they hide and guard those feelings with their life, and even when you share the same thoughts"

"How do you know this? Are you a sudden mind reader or something?"  
"I am not the only man that is bonded or tied to you in some way" He hinted "I know how they think, expect mine is more intense when it comes to your safety"

I rolled my eyes

"They love you"

That did it. The "L" word was what it took to sent me into a spiral of fury, except when he looked at me, it was enough to rush ice cold water on my face.

I was neutral now. And that meant I was not entertained, uninterested.  
"Sure, sure"

He raised an eyebrow at my sudden blast of boredom.

I smiled at myself, it was pretty much the first time in my life that I quoted my favorite Alpha.

The musky scent was soon mixed with the lilacs. Of course Jacob had met up with Renesmee.

_Of course._

We were visible in the clearing and the guys soon stood with their plates of vampire chow, to see who the new rain forest scent had came from.

The recognized me of course, but Nahuel posed some sort of threat as it seemed.

I could practically hear the intimidating breath that was coming off of them, the tensed muscles coiled for a spring and the spine shivering hiss that escaped each of their lips.

He still had a grip on my hand as he pulled me to the pack.

I'd have to say that the most welcome face belonged to my brother, weird as that sounded. He was the most reluctant before, but when he learned of the whole imprint crap, suddenly he was the nicest guy on earth.

"Hey" Jacob greeted me, as if oblivious to Nahuel.

Renesmee was smiling like their was no tomorrow. I wanted to stab a plastic fork in my heart so it would stop vomiting a huge vibe of envy.

She was beautiful of course. Russet curls, perfect face, chocolate brown eyes she inherited from her confused, clumsy, accident prone mother.

And she was so alike to her father In many ways that were all puke inducing.

She had the type of body that the most beautiful super models coveted. I'm sure Jacob loved that, as much of the pig that he was.

I smiled to myself.

"Hey" I welcomed "Well I guess I should introduce you guys"

They remained crouched.

"This is Nahuel" I took a deep breath "The love of my life..."

**Yea, I'm too lazy to write more, then the chapter would be to0 long =]. Hope you liked it! And don't forget...Please Review!!!!**


	8. Reactions and Obligations

**Sorry!! I was so busy, and i struggled on thinking what would happen next!! =[[ I will bring the next chapter off pretty soon now.**

**Sorry!!! **

Paul was the first to react. His teeth flared, sharp and pointed. Jagged like mountains and so fierce, they reminded me of the tonsils of a mother bird, that would rip you to shreds if you laid a finger on her young. His nose twitched uncontrollably as his eyes squinted as if he was staring at the ugliest thing in his life.

Even though he had Rachel, Paul was known for outbursts like these. I expected the worse and paced my heart to a normal tempo as the suspense showered me with fear mixed with anger.

But to my utter astonishment, instead of yelling and attacking, Paul guffawed barks of laughter that was not so different from when he laughed as a wolf.

"Love of your life?" He questioned "You've...got to be...fucking...kidding me" He spit between snorts of laughter

Then I got angry...the fear completely absent.

"No, Paul I am not kidding" I snapped "Is it so hard for me, Leah, the harpy whose so hideously horrible to have ever fallen in love?"

We were back to square one

"Actually, yes" Paul snapped arrogantly

"It's not so much different from you...I mean I would have never in my life, thought that you of all people-ignorant, short-tempered and just plain stupid-could have ever loved another girl...it's almost physically impossible for your type of mind to actually explore the concept of love, I don't think it's big enough, or capable for that matter"

Paul gave me a look of confusion, as the rest of the boys hid their laughter.

"What? Too many big words for you?"

The pack busted out of their shells and let out the suppressed urge to roam free as the air was filled with laughter.

Paul grunted and stepped back.

"Well, We are glad that you have finally found the one for you, Leah" Embry gritted

"Thank you Embry" I said, my voice unusually high

"Yea, yea" He groaned

Embry was the only one who didn't imprint that was the most regretful to not have found true love. Collen and Brady and the rest of the newbies saw me as hot, something to look at. Something to stare at, but Embry saw me as a possible flame of love. I bit my lip as a surge of unwanted empathy came over me. I knew that feeling to be unwanted.

"Well, if Paul is okay with it, I guess I am" Quil joked "Good for you Leah"

"Yea" Jared agreed "I'm for change"

Renesmee nodded furiously, I already knew her reaction and moved on.

I turned to Seth, he had the most obvious smile on his little face, it made me chuckle, I skipped his head-already knowing his answer-to Jacob.

His face was still, no emotion was shown. It wasn't actually very hard to see this coming, I mean, Jacob is one of the hardest people to read. His feelings were kept on lock down, always kept away, stored for later.

"Well?" I pushed

Everyone was just as still as Jacob, staring back and forth between us.

And again the boys shocked me.

Jacob flew into the wildest grin that I have ever seen, his pearly teeth sparkled. But it wasn't the grin that shocked me-more like what was behind the grin.

It was more advanced, like he felt that he had something over me. Like he knew better, I was his subject and so much more inferior.

I raised my eyebrow

"You know what this means?"

"No" I snorted clearly

"You lied to me" He smiled "You said you never wanted to imprint"  
"I never did!" I argued "Just because I did, doesn't mean I _wanted_ to"

Nahuel gasped, I looked at him as I realized that I just hurt his feelings. Great.

"NO! I mean, uh-" I struggled to take back the words but the damage was done.

Stupid stupid stupid me! I thought frantically for a way to make Nahuel feel better, I softened my eyes and was ready to kneel on the ground if thats what it took. But he simply smiled and I was forgiven. I sighed thankfully.

Jacob watched my panic with entertainment.  
"Hah!" Jacob pushed "You can't even say a mild insult without taking it back...praise heaven! Leah, lost all her evilness!"  
"Shut up Jacob"

"Never"  
"I will so get you for this"  
"What are you gonna do? Lecture me on the elements of love? Are you gonna use big words?"  
"Well I _could_ do that...but I most likely will kick your ass"

He chuckled "Alright, fine I'll give you a break"  
"Thanks Jake" I smiled

"Anything for the "new" Leah" He joked

Renesmee laughed, her infamous tinkling laugh, Jacob's eyes sparkled at her. This time I didn't feel like puking, I felt happy. I knew now what was between those eyes and it didn't bother me one bit.

I grimaced; I really did change a whole deal.

"Don't forget our double date, Leah" Nessie gently reminded

I rolled my eyes for the umpteenth time and quoted my favorite Alpha_ again_

"Sure, sure"

Letting the vampires in on the gig, wasn't that much different. Edward was two steps ahead of everyone, while everyone gasped as Nahuel told them. The vampire stench was killing me, but all I needed was a whiff of Nahuel and everything fell into place

Bella, her clueless self, compared us to Jacob and Renesmee-her daughter was almost everything that she talked about. The "little miracle" She called her. It sickened me to no end.

Esme was all for it as Rosalie took it in with regret, but ultimately figured that it had nothing to do with her, and she went along with playing with her hair. Emmet was too busy admiring the impossible beauty that was all his. Jasper, helped a lot by calming the room down just before the news cane as Alice told him what was going to happen. And of course she was ecstatic as always.

It was Carlisle that asked all these intimidating, hard questions about Nahuel's venom and how it worked. He asked if he could test out the venom on rats-his new theory. Since Humans were alike to rats in some form, he figured that maybe the venom would work the same way.

So far I've caught a glance on many blood-sucking rats that Renesmee seems to cherish as her pets. That girl could take anything sick and revolting to something so sweet and normal. It was truly a gift.

It kinda bothered me, but for the scientific study I let it go.

Nahuel had told me that Huilen was supposedly coming. Once word was sent that her little nephew had found true love, she set out for the road immediately.

I was terrified for my life

"Don't worry, honey"  
"I'm not worried"

My mother didn't know yet and I didn't anticipate what her reaction could be. Of course I haven't seen her in weeks, the last time we talked I was their as a diplomacy party as my beta responsibilities to make peace with the remaining wolves. Jared and Sam were the leaders of that group. Sam figured that if his only experienced fighter was Jared-he was screwed. As soon as Jared left, a day later Sam stopped phasing forever and the little puppies were confused on where to go. Eventually they started they're own little pack. Jacob put an end to it and they all started to look up to him.

So far Jacob was the best Alpha that I've ever followed.

I laid back on the log that Nahuel and I first confessed out love and let out a huff, Nahuel was busy hunting and I was busy admiring him in action.

Sure seeing him drink blood was horrifying, but seeing him do it with such grace was beautiful.

I watched him leap and prance over the antelope-all was his. His glorious face cringed with effort as he struggled to keep the herd from attacking him. His nose crinkled as his teeth pulled a layer of hot flesh. I gulped, but kept quiet. He sunk his teeth, and I could see the anxiety leave his face as the blood calmed him down a bit.

His shirt was off, only because the antelopes horns were sharp enough to rip the fabric. His hair was taken down from the braids and he wore It freely. It was smooth just like Jacobs hair, just like my hair for that matter. It was perfect with his skin that was like mine also. His chest was polished and smooth, yet hard. It was sculptured like a God and I could see it move up and down for the needed oxygen.

Of course, he needed to breath, he needed water and food occasionally to survive. He had human feeling unlike his sick immortal father. He was human. Half way, but then again so was I.

We were so alike-i didn't understand why I rejected the idea in the first place.

I scoffed as he trashed the corpse away and sniffed the air for more prey.

I smiled at his defensive crouch, human with animal characteristics! He jerked as his nose picked up an unfamiliar scent so It seemed.

He stared at that area for a while as his bared his teeth. Oh he knew what it was, but he didn't like it.

I stood straight up and examined his face, he began to growl and snarl deep within his chest to the area.

"What's wrong?" I asked

He turned to me and his eyes softened as he stood straight up this time. It was like he saw me for the first time, this time he was terrified.

His mouth was half opened, as if amused and scared at the same time. Like I was the best thing to look at-that it was incredibly impossible.

Then reality overshadowed him and the shocked look turned to fear.

"Leah!" He yelled "Get out of here!"  
I narrowed my eyes at him questionably "Nahuel?"

He ran at inhuman speed to me and I moved half an inch so he couldn't hit me, he stopped purposely beside me, knowing I would move. He grabbed my arm tightly and began to run.

"Nahuel!" I hollered in complaint "Let go!"  
He refused and I restrained . He couldn't run fast enough with me holding back do he stopped all together.

"We are in trouble, they are here. I tried to get away but they tracked me down..we need to stop Huilen but first I need to get you out of here"  
"Calm down" His words didn't make any sense "Whose 'they'?"

He looked to me a frown in his eyes as he took the deep breaths.

"Hello son"

I looked up and I saw them. They weren't moving but they looked like they were. So graceful while they stood over us with undeniable dominance. I was shooked.  
The girls were so..so beautiful. Almost indescribably because they're faces were like perfect in proportions, almost hard to even look at without wanting to cry your eyes out, feeling so inferiorly ugly

Nahuel was the first to react sickened as he looked at them.

"What are you doing here?" He asked coldly

"For you of course" One of the girls said "We came to set you straight, that Huilen lady was a real-"

"Lilen" Joham shushed

Lilen quieted down.

"Father" The one girl said "Who is that girl she seems a little...out of place"

"This the the love of my life, Rayen"

She huffed eying me down "Eh..could of done better"

He snarled

"Easy brother, we have come for peace"

He flared his nose in disagreement.

"Okay maybe not peace" Rayen chuckled "But we came to retrieve what was ours"  
He grounded his teeth

"Nahuel" Joham began "I have tried to come to you peacefully, and I didn't want this to happen but I need to you, your my only son and you must oblige"  
"Oblige to what?" He questioned

"I am created a super race son a race for you to be a father of"

It took me a while to put two and two together

"No!" Nahuel yelled "I will not!...my sister? You are a sick man"  
"No you idiot!" Lilen sneered "Their is another female..that child to Carlisle son? Yes, to her"  
"Renesmee?"

"Yea. That curly haired fool"

"She isn't a fool"

"What ever" Lilen coughed "Come now, or else"  
"Son I am sorry, but this is necessary for procedure"  
"I can't leave Leah!"

"Nonsense," Joham cleared "The Volturi will help with that"  
"What?"  
"Chelsea"

"I thought the Volturi was against you" I piped

"No, my dear" The man said softly with a sudden hostility tied to every word "They were at first until I convinced Aro of my collection, after all he is a man fond of new discovery"

I groaned, this was a problem I didn't want to address.

I looked down and thats when the three started closing in on us

I stood straighter as I screamed a call for the pack as the Rayen and Joham grabbed hold of Nahuel. He struggled in their grip but he couldn't take them both.

Lilen took care of me as he took my neck in the choke hold.

"No!" The muffled yell of Nahuel argued "Don..'t kill...h..er!.....plea...se"

Lilen shrugged and threw me to the ground harshly as she took part of Nahuel

"Nahuel!" I screamed again as I sprinted to the struggling four I jumped on top of Joham and clawed his face.

Joham scoffed in frustration he threw me off of him and my arm ricocheted off the rock and the wound opened up for a second without healing

"Ah, a common werewolf, I always wanted to see what would happen if I bit one"

He grinned evilly as he ducked lowly on my neck and crushed his teeth on my flesh. I cringed as he bit harder. The venom flew through my body at instant the burning inside my veins was slowly killing me.

I struggled and gurgled but I couldn't scream.

Figures, dark big figures appeared. The stood at my side, and a couple kneeled by me observing me it looked. One dominant shadow stood hovering over me as I felt his face press against the area where I was bitten.

"no" I said softly "Don't"

I knew I would be dead an second from now.

Wow, a crappy end to my crappy life.

**Hope you liked it!! =]]**

**Rayen is Mapuche for Flower and Lilen is Mapuche for shrub =]]**


	9. Authors Note

Author's Note

Sorry everyone! I will put up two new chapters but I can't this week because I have lots to do, (Two Projects, Four tests and One quiz) I will put them up during Christmas Break because then I'll have plenty of time!

Thanks for your patience


	10. Tragedy and Revenge

**I think I did horrible...let me know if I need to fix this up. =]**

_Bright the light was. Inviting. Irresistible. Indestructible. Heaven was more impossible to believe; joy from miles away radiated. Angels singing. Pure bliss._

_Yea; I was dead. I knew that for sure. Werewolf functions; the anatomy would never be compatible with vampire venom. Call us big and bad,but venom was what it took to take us out. Of course, when we bit into a vampire it provided almost the same effect._

_I just didn't think in time._

_Stupid stupid me. _

_But I should be happy, not regretful. _

_Elation crowded around me as I struggled to remain gloomy. I was happy.  
_

_Pure bliss._

**15 hours later **

I screamed. Not exactly knowing where I was.

I screamed again because I realized that you can't scream if your dead.

It was like a bomb, all this just piling up.

I'm dead. The trouble that was following. Jacob's misery of losing his second and command. Sue losing her first born after she lost her husband. Seth losing a sister. Everyone else losing...what ever it was I was to them: an enemy, an acquaintance or maybe even some one to look at. Sam losing an ex-girlfriend- and on a bad note. Emily losing a once best friend and second cousin right after the pain she caused me. This must be so horrible. . I couldn't grasp that because the most important fact that I wasn't dead.

Yea I could deny it all I want. But the feeling was coming back to me was hard to ignore. My sight was slowing regaining and the numbness in my neck soon turned to a small sharp pain that left soon after.

Great. Werewolf sense still in tact.

_Spectacular! Amazing! Wonderful! _

I screamed again and this time I opened my eyes along side

"CAN SOME ONE TELL ME WHY I AM STILL ALIVE?"

There was people around; werewolves and vampires to be exact. You'd have be a complete idiot to even step within 100 miles of this place and still be human. The "friendly vegetarian vampires" that the Cullens were trying to provide as an image never ceased to _not _make sense to me. Of course _maybe_ I was biased.

Now that I regained full conciseness instead of blindly asking as to why I didn't die; I realized my surroundings.

I was in a comfortable bed, of course the Cullens never fail to provide any hospitalities needed.

Damn vampires.

I was in some sort of cotton dress. It was too stylish for the situation. It looked as though Alice just

begged for me to wear this. I bet that happened; I could here her pleas:

"_Oh Esme! But it would look so grand on her! The pattern and design fit her physique perfectly! The color compliments her skin tone- It's pure murder against fashion for her not to wear this"_

My imagination ran wild as I thought of what Alice said, what words Esme used to turn her down and Alice's sneakiness of secretly putting this on me.

I almost laughed.

Then I almost puked. It sickened me to know how much I knew of this stupid family.

All this thought. Everything said before. Everything that just happened was so every quick than it could ever be described. After my awake I thought of where I was; what I was wearing. Where everyone else was in no less than a second.

For the next minute and beyond I thought of him.

"NAHUEL!" I screamed as if I was being tortured "NAHUEL! WHERE ARE YOU?"

Bodies rushed in.

"Calm down Leah" Some one familiar said

"Please, Sis" I could recognize that this was Seth.

"WHERE IS HE?"

"He isn't here"

The voices that were replying in such an odd manner were so young. Of course my brother was fifteen but whoever was with him must of been Collin and Brady.

I jumped and wiggled free from their grasp on my hand. Stupid weak brats.

"So this is what Jacob gave me? Three kids? He must not understand what its like to lose your soul mate"

"Uh..." Collin stammered

Seth came up to me "You've been screaming all night long"

I was restrained soon. Someone stronger was holding my hands back. I ignored it.

"I gotta go find him" I murmured "WHERE IS HE?"

I was going mad. I didn't move as the person behind me held the strongest grip.

The reflection of the door soon crossed my path. Of course my hair was knotted and stringy, my mouth had a glob of dried spit on it's side my eyes were that of the devil. They were blood shot red, my pupils dilated. My nose was flared.

I looked like one of those murderous, rambunctious, suicidal, insane, dangerous chick off of one of those horror movies.

I shrugged. Hey, it fit my feelings right now so what the hell?

The only thing that was out place of my "evil" image was that stylish dress. It was gorgeous, extraordinary, perfect.

I growled.

"Leah, calm down"

I snarled "Leave me the hell alone"

"Leah, I know your angry, but you need to relax"

I took a mock deep breath to shut this guy up and then snared "Fuck it"

The struggling continued; one of the reasons why I didn't jerk ate first was because it was obvious that a pack member was holding me down, and I wasn't exactly the strongest so I knew I had no chance. But this time my aggravated annoyance was enough. A surge of anger and a burst of energy was what was needed for my locked arms to tangle free.

Now I knew who it was; obviously it was someone who was superhuman but not enough for my strength.

Seth thought he was enough to hold me down?

As soon as I took off I laughed evilly. No one could hold me down-well by no one I meant excluding Jacob, Quil, Embry, Paul and maybe Jared. Okay yes Jared.

My strength wasn't my high point but I could take my brother at least.

I spit and ran blindly to the clearing before being tackled from the side. My vision changed its path to at the dirt.

It hurt like hell. But it went away after a second.

"What the-!"

Someone put their hand over my mouth; I bit it and he removed it cursing.

"Leah, it will be easier if you don't struggle" Sam warned

"What the fuck is going on?! How can you just come out of no where? Where is everyone else?"

"Leah, just calm down"

I screamed "Get off me you stupid freak!"

He sighed "Leah just-"

I wiggled out of his grasp, and started to crawl away with my fists. Sam grabbed hold of my legs pulling me back. I screamed again in protest. My dress was ruined with all the dirt and mud; but I couldn't care less.

He picked me up by the shoulders next so that were standing up

"Leah, come one, just please we will help if you just calm down"

I smiled at his frantic plea

"This isn't funny"

"You wanna know what is?"

Before waiting for his answer, I spit right in his eye.

"UGH! Leah! Thats friggen gross!"

I laughed as I suddenly remembered the self defense classes from when I was a child. Without thought I raised my knee aimed for his groin.

He fell to his knees and I kicked him in the stomach. He soon_ fell_ to his stomach.

So I dipped as soon as possible. Unfortunately he tripped me before I got any far. I stood immediately and stared pathetically to Sam. I punched him hard in the nose. Suddenly I wasn't worried about my escape and more about my personal revenge.

"Guys? She won't stop" He whined as he touched his bleeding nose.

"Sam!" Someone shouted'

It was a female voice; Emily just couldn't stay away from him for one second?

"Sammy, are you okay?" She kneeled next to him

"Sad" I murmured and left the sight.

This time I wobbled straight to the house; Embry as my escort.

He walked me inside and immediately I heard a gasp of struggle. More importantly there was a bed and Embry threw me on it from 4 yards away.

"What the hell is going on?" I spit

"How could you attack Sam like that?" Embry said disgusted "He was your Alpha"

"Hey, when someone comes at me like that-i have no choice but to fight back"

"You disgust me" He commented

"Either way I couldn't give a fuck" I smiled

"Well, your not going anywhere"  
"And who are you to tell me that?"

"Jacob's orders"  
"That reminds me. Where the hell is Jacob at?"  
"Go see for yourself"

I jumped off as soon as he said that "Where is he?"

Somehow I already knew what was happening. Those monsters did mention something about Renesmee and creating a super race.

As I stepped into the living room, I saw it.

Edward taking to him in a low voice an I knew what he was saying.

"Jacob, we are just as angry as you, do not worry wee will get those freaks and we will get her back"

He sounded determined. In the background I heard Bella's quiet sobbing in the corner with Alice. Rosalie clung onto Emmet as Esme and Carlisle looked on with displeasure. Jasper hovered around trying to calm the room I bet.

Jared, Paul and Quil were restraining him as Kim, Rachel and even Claire looked on with fear.

Jacob saw me at once and he soon stopped struggling for a minute.

"Leah...Your alive" He whispered

I raised an eyebrow "Yea...and whats up with the family reunion?"

Bella rose at once and reached at me in an instant. "This is no joke" she spat

I leaned back with mock disgust. I never liked Bella, but I learned to put up with her. And now that she had her face in my space-my patience wouldn't hold for long.

"Who said it was?" I snorted "I just want to get filled in on what has happened while I was out cold"

They all looked down.

"Yea I know, Nahuel is gone. Renesmee is gone right?" No one responded "Of course they are gone, of course. Hey Alice, I think I could take your spot as a fortune teller"

I tried to crack jokes to hide my pain; they saw right through me.

"Leah, we know your hurt, and we know that you want to find him but-" Edward started

"Whose hurt? I'm used to that so don't worry about me"

"Leah, you'd have to be inhumane to not feel anything" Quil said

"Well makes sense seeing as I'm not human" I spat

Jacob gave me look of sympathy as he struggled no more. He released his arms just like that and walked to me with his arms _out_.

"Come on Leah"

I stared at his wide arms as my mouth began to quiver into a frown. I shook my head no.

"Leah, please" He begged

Tears began to form as they soon escaped my eyes

_No! No! Don't do it! _My mind thought as I stepped towards his inviting stance.

Soon I fell to my will and laid my head on his chest and sobbed like I never did before.

"He's gone...he's really gone"

**The last part wasn't meant to show any "romantic" feelings, it was just a friend comforting a friend. **

**This chapter wasn't my best, but I hope you enjoyed it. **

**Happy Holidays **


	11. Indescribable Agony

How has he affected me?

My Heart: Torn. Ripped. Shredded. Striped. Broken. Stolen from its proper owner. Taken away from happiness. Joy. _Love._

When he came it was like a glass of water for my parched soul. Like the most luminous light to brighten my dull life because the sun had failed to do so. His breath was like oxygen for my lungs, because the air was never good enough. His scent was needed every night, I inhaled it from miles away and ever since he came I could sense it from wherever, whenever, whatever.

This is the first times that his presence didn't touch me –not even in the farthest of anything. He was gone. Stolen. Blown away in the mediocre air that I never took in.

He is gone.

He is gone.

He is gone.

Is he gone?

Yes, he is because Leah Clearwater can never have anything that can ever bring anything nice.

That's fate for you.

My heart.

My Heart. It was pumping blood just days ago, it was alive and well. It struggled before. The wounds still fresh from the last time. But when he came they sealed forever. He was like a bandage for my bruises.

When he left my heart opened up a new wound this time over the old ones, this time even worse.

This time it was permanent. He was never coming back.

My Soul? What happened to that?

Oh yeah! It was split like a nuclear atom, used for energy. Instead when it split it didn't bring anything energetic or happy. I wasn't sharing it with anyone. It burned away.

I am not fully here. Because my soul is not fully here.

So how can I survive when my lifeline was cut?

I don't know.

Was it hope? Determination?

Is it possible that my love is never diminished? Was that enough to keep on striving?

Who cares. He isn't here.

The only thing that's keeping from killing myself is this stupid werewolf crap.

And that was no bluff. Not like the other times. Never was I serious enough to do it, but now I wouldn't hesitate.

Damn werewolf genes. I guess my mother can thank them.

What did he do to my mind?

Haha, that's a good one.

Lets just say my brain cells were dying by the second.

My body you ask?

I was relaxed and calm. It was like I was at a spa every day.

But now I was tense. Coiled as if ready to attack. Glaring at the ceiling practically waiting to jump and eat the dry wall. I was a savage and nothing would ever tame me.

But besides that, was I supposed to ache? Was my back supposed to be crooked, was it supposed to hurt?

Was he supposed to affect me physically?

I sighed as I laid my face down on the un-stained bleach white carpet that the Cullen's kept in tip-top condition.

I lifted my eyes just enough to see everyone of the pain stricken faces that seemed to be depressed with _my _depression.

Jacob seemed to be alone in his pain. Though I knew he shared it with me,

"Well" I started "Why are we just staying here? Let's go out and find them"

He fixed his eyes to me; his brown pupils were dilated to show fear, yet he still looked solemn.

"Yea" He agreed "Let's find them"  
"Lets" I nodded

I gulped loud. Yup, we were going to find them; we were going to be okay.

My joints were going to stretch out like I was the most flexible contortionist there is on the planet. My heart is going to be taken care of and bandaged back as my soul will sew back together. I would retrieve my intelligence again. I will be Leah.

Leah with Nahuel

I did something that I never did before in my life.

I prayed. Prayed that Nahuel will soon have me in his arms like before.

I prayed hard.

Hopefully enough.

Hope. That's all we have. And since its all that I have to treasure; I'll hold on to it.

Never letting go.

Even though my love did.

I will never.

Never

Never.


	12. PLANS

**Sorry it took me forever to upload! LIFE happened. Hope you like it =]] **

I breathed in, keeping the air locked inside for as long as I could. And finally when I let it go, it was long and hard. Like a tornado, a hurricane to blow all the worries and troubles away. Then I did it again. To calm my quivering heart.

I was breathing like I was having an asthma attack as we walked to the place where he was stolen.

When we stepped over the bumpy rock to the log where we first kissed, I bit my lip.

When we we jumped over the log, I covered my mouth.

I looked down, to my choice of apparel to slow down my racing nerves. Yea, another dress. This time it was yellow. Ugh. Interesting choice of color, Alice I though bitterly.

"Oh, but you look so gorgeous! It matches you complexion perfectly, I have to take a picture...Esme! Wheres our camera?"

I escaped before Esme could hand to her, but more importantly I realized that this dress was beautiful.

Just as the girl who was wearing it.

I guess Alice had put this on me in the hopes of boosting my low self esteem.

Leeches. Always caring._ Always._

We walked a few more feet, and I realized that this dress was not a dress to be worn on a search party.

And I was not the type of girl to be going on a search party to find the love of my life....it just didn't fit inside of "Leah Alyssa Clearwater" (**A.N. Made up middle name on a whim!**)

When we stood to the place where Nahuel and Renesmee were stolen My racing heart wasn't moving anymore...it had actually _stopped. _It stopped, just like that.

The vampires sensed this, and Carlisle grabbed my arm. Hoping that the cold feeling would bring me back, but instead I screamed.

Loud, hard. Hoping and praying to God that he could hear me and comfort me. Tell me that everything was okay. Everything was alright. That he was here.

But instead another cold stale hand covered my mouth before he could come and save me.

"Leah," Jasper calmed "Please, were going to need you to cooperate"

I wanted to bite down, but I couldn't, it would only break my teeth. Or maybe because my anger was so infuriating, I could probably break his hand.

A wave of mysterious comfort was placed above my head, Jasper's attempt to calm me down was almost working. Seeing as the deep shake within my bones began to quiet.

The pack had left me with the vampires and humans because I was in no state to phase. If I did, the misery that would be inflicted isn't even funny to me anymore.

Nothing was funny.

But it wasn't because I would bring hatred, and family ties into the pack's minds, it was because I would be too depressed. Everyone knows that when one wolf is left to ponder on someone else, or if their world is turned upside down, the rest of the pack would feel it too. And bring it into their everyday lives.

Like we needed that.

I was entitled to watch over Kim and Claire To make me feel important, like I was wanted.

Sam and Emily were left a home. Thankfully, the baby was too important to risk leaving.

I guess I'll have to thank it.

I still couldn't believe that they left me with the mind reader and Dr. Dracula.

"That doctor saved your life" Edward reminded, cautiously

"Like I asked"  
"How can you not be thankful?" Bella spit

I turned my head over slowly, intimidatingly and opened my mouth to say something back.

Her face showed many emotions. Grief for her daughter. Pride of her family. Fear of me.

"Then let me paint a picture in your head, okay? Imagine being killed over and over. And having the only thing to look up to, dead. The only thing you need, gone. Imagine." I hissed

"But he isn't dead." She reasoned, more friendly. She wanted to bring the goodness out of me, I could tell "Imagine finding him"  
"I imagine you never had to deal with losing someone" I fired, clearly ignoring her advice

"Not true" She answered, I saw Edward shiver involuntary

"Pssh. It isn't like you weren't using someone else cough, Jacob, cough, to make things easier."

A piercing howl broke through the sky. Jacob was telling me to quiet down.

"Well I don't care!" I hollered  
_I'm tired of everyone forgetting that she hurt you. Like you don't matter. Like this half breed monster witch child is enough to make everyone forget _

Edward hissed at my vile thought.

I snapped my head back to him

"You know what Edward? I'm going to say something that no one has every had the chance to say: Shut the fuck up."

He growled. I heard a low groan of laughter from Quil.

"I'm tired of everyone being afraid of you. Can't you keep your head outta my thoughts? You know, what the hell happened to common courtesy?!"

He smiled, evilly "When you offend my family, I have no choice but to retaliate"

"Oh yeah? Remember, same here. I just can't read your mind."

"Exactly" He words were traced with venom. It made me cringe

"I hate you Jacob" I whispered quietly "I hate all of you"

"Leah" Esme's calm voice spoke "I'm sorry, for your loss, but we will find them"

"Yeah" Alice agreed "Nahuel will be found."  
Soon my head was clouded with the leeches constant reassurances that Nahuel would be found. Their ongoing optimistic moods would be soon etched in my brain. I couldn't handle it.

"Stop!" I fired "it isn't like anyone would come and find Nahuel with me...all you leeches...heck even Jacob are only coming for _Renesmee_. No one gives a damn about me or Nahuel"

"That isn't true" Carlisle disagreed

"Oh, it is, I'm okay with it., y'know after years of neglect, its like a sixth sense"

Some of them frowned. As they finally knew how it felt to lose someone, they didn't hate me anymore

It was quiet for a while. It was boring. At least with the arguments I had the thrill to cuss out vampires and/or prove a point to brainless leaches.

Edward hissed.

* * *

I groaned, this trip would be long.

Carlisle stopped dead in his tracks, the vampire scent was fresh, and yes old.

So this is the direction they stole him from.

I bit my lip.

How could I Leah Clearwater, fall for something as foolish as love?

Edward huffed, clearly disagreeing

"It's true" I whispered "How could I?"

"Love isn't foolish" He argued

The wolves howled in agreement. Well the ones who imprinted.

I shook my head. "No, it is. It's a waste of time. At least for me anyways."

"I can see why you feel that way, Leah" Carlisle spoke, thoughtfully

"No you think you do," I sighed "I just don't care anymore"

The dead carcass of the animal he drank blood from was visible, at he least he wont be thirsty with the kidnappers.

At least

"Leah," Carlisle continued "Can you tell me anything that happened when he was stolen?"

"I guess those parasites paired up with the Italian Mafia "  
"The Volturi?"

"What ever they're called"

"And what?"  
"They mentioned some chicks name...Chelsea was it?"

Bella gasped

"What else?" Carlisle thirst for knowledge was getting annoying

"They wanted to create some super race...Nahuel...being the...the"  
"What?" Emmet pushed

"Father . I'm guessing that they want Renesmee as the ...mother"  
Jacob howled. He ran faster, I heard the paws hit the ground with such fury.

I was disgusted, no matter how much I hated the leeches, this was just too much.

"No" Edward groaned

"Yea," I agreed with him for once "I know."

They all had anger raged deep within they're stone bodies. Ready to attack anything that posed a threat.

"How could I have been so stupid? I should've phased. I should've kept them from taking him. I should've killed them"  
"Leah," Edward softened "There was three of them, they were no match. It would be uneven. Unfair"  
"Still, I could've of done something besides scratching the leeches face"

Bella sighed

"How did Renesmee get stolen?" I piped

Everyone looked to Edward.

"Jacob went hunting with Renesmee, the rest of us ran to your pleas" Edward informed, sadly

The packed whined in, the Alpha voice boomed in grief

He believed that it was all his fault

"No Jacob" Edward sternly added "It isn't. It would foolish of us to blame you"

He barked in disagreement

"Jake, how could we ever blame you? One large, strong, dangerous coven against you and Renesmee? Expecting you to fight them all off alone is...stupid." Bella reassured, echoing her husband

The two of them kept repeating the same thing but in different words. It was pathetic.

Edward ignored my jab.

"Even if the coven came and stole her from us, it would be a hard fight" Carlisle added, to ease Jacob's pain

A small whine released from his lips. Almost painful, I knew exactly what he was going through.

"He isn't taking it" Edward, soothingly told his wife

Bella's face broke out into a frown.

"Of course he's not going to take it" I interrupted "Hes a freaking werewolf, and werewolves don't take anything from leeches, no offense"

The wolves barked in agreement, I even heard Jacob.

Edward chuckled "I guess I can't say anything to contradict that"

I raised my eyebrows "yeah...but its probably the same around for you guys"

"No" Edward disagreed "We like to form a friendship with you guys"

I barked out in laughter "Seriously?"  
"Yes"

"Wow...I mean you of all people need to know that that isn't possible"

"Why?" Carlisle

"We hate you to much"

Carlisle opened his eyes in surprise "Why?"  
"Because, well, we can all make a quick and easy route to you guys being the reason of us being who we are"

Carlisle looked down, apologizing

"I mean back when Renesmee was born, and when you brought all those parasites...our pack increased, and I mean six more wolves....all those being very young at the time. I gotta say, 11, 12 13 years old?"

Those wolves cried out. Contradicting that they hated being a werewolf

"I mean, we were human, we all have plans. Things we wanted to do in our life...but when you stop dead in your tracks because some leeches come and live close again...it just proves that we can't forgive you"

It was silent. I think the vampires were finally realizing the damage they have caused.

"But, its whatever..." I assured "I mean, school is out of the option"

Alice sighed happily.

I don't care how cheerful you can get, this was not a happy moment

"Alice..." Edward groaned

"Oh jeez..What is she thinking now?" Rosalie intervened

"She's coming up of a list careers Leah could pursue when she stops morphing...or if she stops morphing"

I snapped my head as soon as my name was mentioned. Amusement plastered all over my face.

"What are they?"

Alice giggled "Well I was thinking of jobs that you didn't have to go to school for...A mechanic, a plumber...but then I realized...those are jobs for a pretty young lady like you!"  
I rolled my eyes "What?"

"A model!"

This time everyone groaned

"What? She's tall, thin, and absolutely gorgeous! I mean just look at that bone structure. I think we can start our own little modeling agency Carlisle, and Leah could be the face of our campaign"

"Oh, Alice, your crazy" Jasper commented, nibbling on her ear

She giggled

"Ah, Alice" Carlisle cooed "I think Leah's main goal isn't to become a model..."

"Oh right" She quieted down

"But here it is" Edward said, reaching first beach. "They're trailing by water"

I stepped up "Through the Pacific? All the way to Italy?"

"I doubt they're going to Italy...More like the coast of Rio Dinero" _(__**A.N**__. _**Let me know if I got that wrong)**

"But how can we be sure?" Rosalie asked

"We can't" Edward assured

"Well those are two connections that we can't put together" Esme concluded

"Well I say we split up, one go to Volterra and one to the coast" Emmet's game plan brought some insight

"Thats not a bad idea" Edward concluded "But whose going where?"

"Let Quil and Jared stay behind" I told

"Why?" Everyone asked

"Why should we put Clare and Kim's life in danger?" I asked "Plus, we need someone else to watch over La Push, instead of just Sam"

"good point" Bella pointed, I nodded in thanks

As soon as this was established, Quil and Jared came running to the loves of their lives.

"We are not listening to the leeches" Quil concluded "But we really didn't want to go"

I laughed "Right, right"

"Thanks Leah" Jared said "Really"

I smiled my Mona Lisa smile again "No problem"  
"I know you'll find them" Quil continued "Good luck"

I nodded again.

I watched off in the distance of them taking a detour through the woods, most likely to alert Sam

How I envied them?

"Hey" I heard a welcoming voice from behind greet

"Hey, Jake" I repeated

We watched the vampires draw a few lines in the sand

"Is it sad that were listening to leeches?"  
"Yes, very" He agreed "But if we find them..."

"Oh Jake, I'm really sorry"

"It's okay. We'll find them. And then I'm going to kill the Mafia"

I laughed "Don't tell the Godfather"

"Godfather...thats not how the movie goes"

"Well I never actually watched it"  
He gasped "You never watched it?"

"uh yeah, never...is that bad?"  
"Yea, its only the best movie ever made in the history of movies"

The wolves barked in insane agreement  
"Well I guess I'll have to watch it with Nahuel some day"  
He smiled, that didn't reach his eyes, clearly liking my boost of optimism.

"Jacob, Leah" Edward called

We came, the wolves behind us "We've made a plan-"

"Hold on, I just want to say that I don't want any of my wolves coming along with us" Jacob concluded

"What?"

"Why should we risk they're lives..." Leah backed him

The wolves whined, namely Seth.

"Forget it Seth, you think I'm gonna let you leave mom?"

He groaned

"Seth, phase back" Jacob instructed

He ran into the woods and less than a minute he was back. Frowning, angrily.

"AW! Come on?"

I shook my stubborn head "No, no and no"

"arghh! I hate this"  
"I love you, thats why I'm doing this" I assured

"Thats ten times worse"

I smiled "Seth, come on...for mom"

He groaned again "Fine"

"Thank you!"

I ran to give him a hug, he accepted regretfully

He was almost a foot taller than me, wow. Did I have to be so short?

The rest of the wolves, were coming along. So that left nine in total. More than enough

"Take care of them, Embry" I asked "Please?"

He barked rolling his eyes. Clearly annoyed

"Leah, your coming with us" Jake assured

"Actually, we were thinking of separating" Emmet pushed

We both snapped our heads. "Why?"

"We need different people on one squad" Rosalie reasoned "Wolves and vampires together is stronger than just one of us all together"

"I guess that makes sense" Jacob agreed

"Whose going with who?"

"Bella and Edward are with you Leah, along with me and Jasper"

"And were going with the wolves" Carlisle motioned to his wife, Rosalie and Emmet

"Thats unfair" Jacob called

"You are the group going to Volterra, you need as much people as possible" Jasper concluded "Besides, your meeting with another coven in Ireland"

"Siobhan's?" Rosalie chimed

"Yes" Carlisle smiled "Her gift may very well help us"

Bella sighed happily, "That is good news"

"We are guessing that Renesmee as most likely taken to Italy" Esme assured  
"Then why aren't Bella and Edward coming?"

"We want to help Leah, we know you'll be fine Jake" Bella assured

"You want to help me?"

"Yes" Edward said

"Wow..I-I don't know what to say to that"  
"Nothing, we owe you" Alice politely added

"Than you"

Each of them smiled in happiness

The peaceful moment didn't last for long, the thrashing blue waters covered one another as dark black blankets

"Well all we need is a boat"

**AHHHH.! Now for the good parttt...CASTING!! **

**I imagine the story better when I have roles in my head, I have a few people in mind..... =]] **

**Pleaseeeee let me know who you think can play who you think.....!! **

**REVIEW! Tell me anything that I missed. Spelling errors, harsh criticism requested!**

**Well not too harsh......**

**If you wanna see my cast, check out my profile I have the list! Any additions? **

**Looking for betas. And could someone tell me how to work that thing?? **


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